Deadly PJ's....

Which song will a kid sing when he starts going to 1^st std.?
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KG kiya re, KG kiya re
Oh KG, KG kiya re….
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>Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
>On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
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>Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
>Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
>Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
>Gulshan: No it is Grocer. >
>Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
>scroll down for the ultimate PJ
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>Further,,,
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>Little further...
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>ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

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And this is the latest one....
>enjoy....................
>
>) Smoking
>2) Drinking
>3) Charas
>4) Ganja
>5) Chicken
>6) Mutton
>7) Oily food
>8) Masala
>9) Sleep & obesity
>10) Pollution
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>= Heart Attack
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>means...
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>scrolll down
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>DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
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Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???
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>Think..
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>Bit more.......
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>Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
chen..nai...
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What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???
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>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
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>think
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>think
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>think
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>think
>think
>think
>think
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>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
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>tired of thinking???
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>Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"
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Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
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>okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"

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ok whats the opp of venky's..
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>venlocks...
>(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)
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>What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
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>Subramanium Didn't See Me.
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>How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
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>Ready....Steady.....PO
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A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
>bath, >but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water anywhere
around...
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>what can he do?
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>->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of
>integration)
>Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.


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>A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
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>because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

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Ek nadi thi......

uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
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Keep Guessing......
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Chalo yaar....the answer is

"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai

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BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?

Because he became

MAMU LEE!

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who make Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......
okay....
" KAILASH KHER "
tere naam se " G " loon....

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Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????

Think............

Give up??

Coz...

"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango."

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Ok next one………..

JISKA EK BI DOST NAI USKO KYA BOLTE???
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"koena mitra" (koi-na-mitra)
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Once rani mukharjee was given punishment 2 eat 1000 chewingums.
she was scared bt den suddenly saif ali khan said sumtin in her ears n she started eatin how???
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coz saif said"chak de chak de,chakde sare GUM,chakde chakde chakde,tere sung hai hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
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.."CASIO???"...(kaisi-ho?)

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WHOS DA ONLY PLAYER WHO KNOS EACH N EVRY RELIGIOUS SONG?

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HAR-BHAJAN-SINGH
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Agar aap 90 baar paap karoge to keval 45 baar hi pakde jaoge......batao kyu????

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sin 90=cot 45

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Q: why are dogs afraid to look good?

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A: because hot ones are eaten up.
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why is 45 degree always blushing
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cause ppl call it a-cute angle

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Why did the boy disconnect the calling-bell in his house?
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A)Because he wanted to win the No-Bell Prize.
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Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? ..
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Because oct31=dec25.  

Poetic resignation.....Enjoy!!

Employee Resignation

Poetic Resignation

The name is good, the brand is big 
But the work I do is that of a pig 
The work or the brand; what is my way? 
I don't know if I should stay. 

To work, they have set their own way 
Nobody will care to hear what I say 
My will be NULL, they wont change their way 
I don't know if I should stay. 

The project is in a critical stage 
But to do good work, this is the age 
This dilemma is killing me day by day 
I don't know if I should stay. 

The money is good, the place is great 
But the development is at a very small rate 
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay 
I don't know if I should stay! 

The managers don't know what they talk 
The team doesn't know where they walk 
That's a bad situation, what say? 
I don't know if I should stay. 

I can go to any other place 
But what if I get the same disgrace 
I can't keep switching day by day 
I don't know if I should stay. 
 
The -ves are more, the +ves are less 
Then why have this unnecessary mess 
No more will I walk their way, 
It's all done, I won't stay.   

Thanks & Regards 
Employee   

  

Manager Response 


Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad 
Only God knows still I am glad 
Keep moving in life that is what I can say 

If you feel right go in the same way 
May god give you the work, the challenge you want 
Anyway there is always a second chance 
Chances are there, grab them snatch them 
That is what I can say 
 
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more.... 
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me) 
>From my experience I can tell you 
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you 
You are frustrated since you have no quality work 
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work 

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one 
And expects the new job will be much better than this one 
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun 
Than you will again send the resignation like this one 
This is all what I want to say 

Have you completed all the formalities? 
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR) 
Once done you can take all your cash 
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s. 
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company 
Even though there was not any.... 

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI 
Don't feel shy 
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi.... 
That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards 
Manager

Programming Quotes

 

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later

Frederik Brooks

 

If you believe that you know the requirements better than the customer, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

Alan M. Davis

 

Software design is as much art as science.

Rod Johnson

 

Experience without learning is better than learning without experience.

Chinese proverb

 

The unavoidable price of reliability is simplicity.

C.A.R. Hoare

 

Software development should integrate and consider project metrics that assess its financial impact.

Jane Cleland-Huang

 

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live

John F. Woods

 

There is nothing in the programming field more despicable than an undocumented program.
Ed Yourdan

 

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein

 

Intellectuals solve problems: geniuses prevent them.
Albert Einstein

 

90% of code written today is getting around other people's mistakes.

Alan Kay

Efforts may fail,bu dont fail to make efforts...Great things will always come late, Believe in urself.

there is no short cut to suceess