Bollywood Coder...very funny

The ones in BOLD are the best ones…

Just imagine it in the way they talk…

Latest dialogues from the movie "Ghayal Coder" under production:
 
Sunny Deol:    Bench pe bench, bench pe bench, Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe aur unhe mili toh sirf bench!          
Analysis of algorithm karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm aur unhe bhi mili to sirf bench!  
Training ke baad proj milega, phir appraisal hoga, phir onsite jaoonga isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di aur unhe bhi mili toh sirf bench!
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench, aur phir bhi unhe mili toh  bench!
 
Sunny Deol:    Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai wo  kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
 
Sunny Deol:    Aur jab yeh Dotnet  ka code kisi Java wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uth ta nahi, balki is duniya se uth jaata hai............
 
Sunny Deol:    Bazaar main aise code bht milte lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chaiye hta hai who ek coder lekar paida hta hai
  
Developer Nana Patekar's dialogue:
Bang Bang Bang...(on the keyboard)...
Ye dekho ...
Ye 'C' ka code.. ye 'C++' ka code... Ye dono mila diya...
Ab bata  tester - 'C' ka kaunsa, 'C++' ka kaunsa???
Jab banane waale ne ismein koi farak nahi kiya to tum kaun ho farak karne waale.... Bata bata
 
RajKumar :
Jaani,
Jinke khud ke code JAVA mein hote hai,
Woh  DOT NET ka certification nahi diya karte!! 

Wonderful Thoughts...

Love your job but don't love your Company,
because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

What is the Secret of SUCCESS? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience? "WRONG DECISIONS!"
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

Without your involvement you can't succeed.
With your involvement you can't fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS

It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO!
JOHN KEATS

Don't make promise when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY……. Think twice, Act wise.

Upcoming Horror movies in IT Sector.......

Here are upcoming Horror movies in IT Sector....... Deadline Wo Akhri Mail……………… Evil DART Masoom Coder- A Life in trouble 9 Ghante 15 Minute Ichadhari Bug Zahereelee Defect Prod Release ki Raat Do Hazar Code Ke Neeche REGRESSION - RELOADED 0 Bug – Mano ya na Mano…………….!!! I know what you CODED last summer Adam khor developer Bhut wala DC I still know what you CODED last summer Coding- The mystery continues……… Darinda manager, tadapta developer ... !!!! Andha code … !!! Gayab coder – A murder mystery.. !!! Zahreela food court .. !!! Recession – Jaani dushman Appraisal Ki Pyaas Badla Developer Ka Tester Bana Shaitaan Manager ki Cheekh  Tadapti Delivery Client Ka Qaher!!!!!!!!!!! Viraana Cubicle!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last but not the least  ................ Khooni Client Call

Happy Engineers Day....

Dedicated to all Engineers..........


Apne Project ke bojh tale dabaa ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...
Zindagi se hara hua hai, Par schedule se haar nahi manta,
Apne Area ki ek ek beam isne analyse ki hai,
par aaj kaun se rang ke 'socks' pehne hain, ye nahi jaanta,
Din par din ek excel sheet banata ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

PC pe hazaar windows khuli hain,
Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,
Sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Kitabon me gulab rakhne wala , Outlook mein red flag lagaa raha hai,
Dil ki zameen se armaano ki vidayi ho gayi, Din bhar mails ke jawaab de raha hai,
Weekends pe daroo peke jo jashn mana raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Maze lena ho iske to poochh lo,
"Salary Increment" ki party kab de rahe ho,
Hansi udana ho to pooch lo,
"On site" kab ja rahe ho?
Wo dekho Foreign se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Kharche bad rahe hain, Baal kam ho rahe hain,
Salary ki date ati nahi,
Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,
Lo phir se bus chhoot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Pizza gale se nahi utarta,
To "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,
Office ki "Thaali" dekh muh banata hai,
Maa ke haath ka khana use roz yaad aata hai,
"Sprout Bhel" bani hai phir bhi, Free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiyan,
ek engineer ke jivan ka sach batati ye aakhri kuch panktiyan,
Hazaron ki tankhwah wala, Company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,
ek engineer wahi ban sakta hai, Jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,
Hum log jee jee ke marte hain , Zindagi hai kuch aisi,
Ek fauj ki naukri, doosri ek Engineer ki ,Dono ek jaisi,
Is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Song by Every Professional...

ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा
मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,
वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा..........

कडी धूप मे अपने घर से निकलना,
वो प्रोजेक्ट की खातीर शहर भर भटकना,
वो लेक्चर मे दोस्तों की प्रोक्झी लगाना,
वो सर को चीढाना ,वो एरोप्लेन उडाना,
वो सबमीशन की रातों को जागना जगाना,
वो ओरल्स की कहानी, वो प्रक्टीकल का किस्सा.....
बीमारी का कारण दे के टाईम बढाना,

वो दुसरों के Assignments को अपना बनाना,
वो सेमीनार के दिन पैरो का छटपटाना,
वो WorkShop मे दिन रात पसीना बहाना,

वो Exam के दिन का बेचैन माहौल,
पर वो मा का विश्वास - टीचर का भरोसा.....
वो पेडो के नीचे गप्पे लडाना,
वो रातों मे Assignments Sheets बनाना,

वो Exams के आखरी दिन Theater मे जाना,
वो भोले से फ़्रेशर्स को हमेशा सताना,
Without any reason, Common Off पे जाना,
टेस्ट के वक्त Table me मे किताबों को रखना,

ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,
भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा
मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,
वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा

Love letter by HR

To,
Aarthi Agarwal
7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Aarthi,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.  Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager