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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

We are becoming lesser by the day



21st Century....
We are becoming lesser by the day

Our  communication - Wireless 

Our  dress - Topless 

Our  telephone - Cordless
 

Our  cooking - Fireless 

Our  youth - Jobless
 

Our  food - Fatless 

Our  labour - Effortless 

Our  conduct - Worthless 

Our  relation - Loveless
 

Our  attitude - Careless 

Our  feelings - Heartless 

Our  politics - Shameless 

Our education - Valueless
 

Our follies -  Countless 

Our  arguments - Baseless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very Very less  
Our emails - useless (especially this one)!

Friday, August 27, 2010

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL....

Never  marry  a Testing girl since she always Doubts U  .

Never
 marry  a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never
 marry  a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never
 marry  a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never
 marry  a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
 
Never  marry  a .NET girl since she is not AFFORDABLE.
 
Never
 marry  a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never
 marry   a UNIX girl ,she always  dump  u with a core.

Never
 marry  a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never
 marry  a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never
 marry  a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY.........

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

How much days you are working


After 10 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- S! o, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager! :- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Awesome reading

Shaher ki is daud mein daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yehi jeena hai doston to phir marna kya hai
Pehli baarish mein train late hone ki fikr hai
Bhul gaye bheegte hue tehelna kya hai

Serials ke kirdaaron ka saara haal hai malum
Par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai
Ab ret pe nange paw tehelte kyun nahi
Ek sau aath hain channel phir dil behelte kyun nahi

Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hain,
lekin pados mein kaun rehta hai jaante tak nahi.
Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dost tak pahunche aise taar kahan hai

Kab doobte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai?
Kab jaana tha shaam ka woh bahana kya hai?
To doston shaher ki is daud mein daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yehi jeena hai to fir Marna kya hai?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi. 

Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi…….

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Some Useful LINKS...

 
Here are the online portals of Indian Govt for all range of information and service
Others:

* Send Letters Electronically <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ otherservice_ details.php? service=20>
* Search More - How do I <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ advancedsearch. php>

Recently Added Online Services

* Tamil Nadu: Online application of marriage certificate for persons having registered their marriages <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2691>

* Tamil Nadu: Online District wise soil Details of Tamil Nadu <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2693>

* Tamil Nadu: View Water shed Atlas of Tamil Nadu <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2694>

* Tamil Nadu: E-Pension District Treasury Tirunelveli <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2695>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by Name (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2697>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by EPIC number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2698>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by House number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2699>

* Himachal Pradesh: Revised Pay and Arrears Calculator-Fifth Pay <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2702>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by Part number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2700>

* Andhra Pradesh: Online Motor Driving School Information <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2705>

Global Navigation

* Citizens <http://www.india. gov.in/citizen. php>
* Business (External website that opens in a new window) <http://business. gov.in/>
* Overseas <http://www.india. gov.in/overseas. php>
* Government <http://www.india. gov.in/govt. php>
* Know India <http://www.india. gov.in/knowindia .php>
* Sectors <http://www.india. gov.in/sector. php>
* Directories <http://www.india. gov.in/directori es.php>
* Documents <http://www.india. gov.in/documents .php>
* Forms <http://www.india. gov.in/forms/ forms.php>
* Acts <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ acts.php>
* Rules <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ rules.php>
* Schemes <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ schemes.php>
* Tenders <http://www.india. gov.in/tenders. php>
* Home <http://www.india. gov.in/default. php>
* About the Portal <http://www.india. gov.in/aboutthep ortal.php>
* Site Map <http://www.india. gov.in/sitemap. php>
* Link to Us <http://www.india. gov.in/linktous. php>
* Suggest to a Friend <http://www.india. gov.in/suggest/ suggest.php>
* Help <http://www.india. gov.in/help. php>
* Terms of Use <http://www.india. gov.in/termscond tions.php>
* Feedback <http://www.india. gov.in/feedback. php>
* Contact Us <http://www.india. gov.in/contactus .php>
* Accessibility Statement <http://www.india. gov.in/accessibi litystatement. php>




Saturday, August 7, 2010

PRINCIPLES OF LIFE


6 (six)PRINCIPLES OF LIFE  

  • No point using limited life to chase   unlimited money.
  • No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it .  
  • Money is not yours until you   spend it.  
  • When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth ; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health .   Difference is that, it is too late .  
  • How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs .  
  • No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with