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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Songs by professional

डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो ♥


ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा

मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,

वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा..........



कडी धूप मे अपने घर से निकलना,

वो प्रोजेक्ट की खातीर शहर भर भटकना,

वो लेक्चर मे दोस्तों की प्रोक्झी लगाना,

वो सर को चीढाना ,वो एरोप्लेन उडाना,

वो सबमीशन की रातों को जागना जगाना,

वो ओरल्स की कहानी, वो प्रक्टीकल का किस्सा.....

बीमारी का कारण दे के टाईम बढाना,



वो दुसरों के Assignments को अपना बनाना,

वो सेमीनार के दिन पैरो का छटपटाना,

वो WorkShop मे दिन रात पसीना बहाना,



वो Exam के दिन का बेचैन माहौल,

पर वो मा का विश्वास - टीचर का भरोसा.....

वो पेडो के नीचे गप्पे लडाना,

वो रातों मे Assignments Sheets बनाना,



वो Exams के आखरी दिन Theater मे जाना,

वो भोले से फ़्रेशर्स को हमेशा सताना,

Without any reason, Common Off पे जाना,

टेस्ट के वक्त Table me मे किताबों को रखना,



ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा

मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,

वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा

Monday, September 27, 2010

Bollywood Coder...very funny

The ones in BOLD are the best ones…
Just imagine it in the way they talk…

Latest dialogues from the movie "Ghayal Coder" under production:
 
Sunny Deol:
   Bench pe bench, bench pe bench, Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe aur unhe mili toh sirf bench!          
Analysis of algorithm karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm aur unhe bhi mili to sirf bench!  
Training ke baad proj milega, phir appraisal hoga, phir onsite jaoonga isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di aur unhe bhi mili toh sirf bench!
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench, aur phir bhi unhe mili toh  bench!
 
Sunny Deol:
   Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai wo  kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
 
Sunny Deol:
   Aur jab yeh Dotnet  ka code kisi Java wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uth ta nahi, balki is duniya se uth jaata hai............
 
Sunny Deol:
   Bazaar main aise code bht milte lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chaiye hta hai who ek coder lekar paida hta hai
  
Developer
Nana Patekar's dialogue:
Bang Bang Bang...(on the keyboard)...
Ye dekho ...
Ye 'C' ka code.. ye 'C++' ka code... Ye dono mila diya...
Ab bata  tester - 'C' ka kaunsa, 'C++' ka kaunsa???
Jab banane waale ne ismein koi farak nahi kiya to tum kaun ho farak karne waale.... Bata bata
 
RajKumar :

Jaani,
Jinke khud ke code JAVA mein hote hai,
Woh  DOT NET ka certification nahi diya karte!! 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Wonderful Thoughts...

Love your job but don't love your Company,
because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM




What is the Secret of SUCCESS? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience? "WRONG DECISIONS!"
Dr. ABDUL KALAM


Without your involvement you can't succeed.
With your involvement you can't fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM


You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD


A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS


Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW


Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS


It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO!
JOHN KEATS



Don't make promise when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY……. Think twice, Act wise.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Upcoming Horror movies in IT Sector.......

Here are upcoming Horror movies in IT Sector.......
Deadline
Wo Akhri Mail………………
Evil DART
Masoom Coder- A Life in trouble
9 Ghante 15 Minute
Ichadhari Bug
Zahereelee Defect
Prod Release ki Raat
Do Hazar Code Ke Neeche
REGRESSION - RELOADED
0 Bug – Mano ya na Mano…………….!!!
I know what you CODED last summer
Adam khor developer
Bhut wala DC
I still know what you CODED last summer
Coding- The mystery continues………
Darinda manager, tadapta developer ... !!!!
Andha code … !!!
Gayab coder – A murder mystery.. !!!
Zahreela food court .. !!!
Recession – Jaani dushman

Appraisal Ki Pyaas
Badla Developer Ka
Tester Bana Shaitaan
Manager ki Cheekh 

Tadapti Delivery
Client Ka Qaher!!!!!!!!!!!
Viraana Cubicle!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Last but not the least
 ................
Khooni Client Call 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Happy Engineers Day....

Dedicated to all Engineers..........


Apne Project ke bojh tale dabaa ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Zindagi se hara hua hai, Par schedule se haar nahi manta,
Apne Area ki ek ek beam isne analyse ki hai,
par aaj kaun se rang ke 'socks' pehne hain, ye nahi jaanta,
Din par din ek excel sheet banata ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


PC pe hazaar windows khuli hain,
Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,
Sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


Kitabon me gulab rakhne wala , Outlook mein red flag lagaa raha hai,
Dil ki zameen se armaano ki vidayi ho gayi, Din bhar mails ke jawaab de raha hai,
Weekends pe daroo peke jo jashn mana raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


Maze lena ho iske to poochh lo,
"Salary Increment" ki party kab de rahe ho,
Hansi udana ho to pooch lo,
"On site" kab ja rahe ho?
Wo dekho Foreign se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


Kharche bad rahe hain, Baal kam ho rahe hain,
Salary ki date ati nahi,
Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,
Lo phir se bus chhoot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


Pizza gale se nahi utarta,
To "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,
Office ki "Thaali" dekh muh banata hai,
Maa ke haath ka khana use roz yaad aata hai,
"Sprout Bhel" bani hai phir bhi, Free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...


Aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiyan,
ek engineer ke jivan ka sach batati ye aakhri kuch panktiyan,
Hazaron ki tankhwah wala, Company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,
ek engineer wahi ban sakta hai, Jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,
Hum log jee jee ke marte hain , Zindagi hai kuch aisi,
Ek fauj ki naukri, doosri ek Engineer ki ,Dono ek jaisi,
Is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek engineer chala ja raha hai...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Song by Every Professional...


ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,

भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा
मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,
वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा..........

कडी धूप मे अपने घर से निकलना,
वो प्रोजेक्ट की खातीर शहर भर भटकना,
वो लेक्चर मे दोस्तों की प्रोक्झी लगाना,
वो सर को चीढाना ,वो एरोप्लेन उडाना,
वो सबमीशन की रातों को जागना जगाना,
वो ओरल्स की कहानी, वो प्रक्टीकल का किस्सा.....
बीमारी का कारण दे के टाईम बढाना,

वो दुसरों के Assignments को अपना बनाना,
वो सेमीनार के दिन पैरो का छटपटाना,
वो WorkShop मे दिन रात पसीना बहाना,

वो Exam के दिन का बेचैन माहौल,
पर वो मा का विश्वास - टीचर का भरोसा.....
वो पेडो के नीचे गप्पे लडाना,
वो रातों मे Assignments Sheets बनाना,

वो Exams के आखरी दिन Theater मे जाना,
वो भोले से फ़्रेशर्स को हमेशा सताना,
Without any reason, Common Off पे जाना,
टेस्ट के वक्त Table me मे किताबों को रखना,

ये डीग्री भी लेलो, ये नौकरी भी लेलो,
भले छीन लो मुझसे USA का विसा
मगर मुझको लौटा दो वो क्वालेज का कन्टीन,
वो चाय का पानी, वो तीखा समोसा

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Love letter by HR

To,
Aarthi Agarwal
7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Aarthi,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.  Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

We are becoming lesser by the day



21st Century....
We are becoming lesser by the day

Our  communication - Wireless 

Our  dress - Topless 

Our  telephone - Cordless
 

Our  cooking - Fireless 

Our  youth - Jobless
 

Our  food - Fatless 

Our  labour - Effortless 

Our  conduct - Worthless 

Our  relation - Loveless
 

Our  attitude - Careless 

Our  feelings - Heartless 

Our  politics - Shameless 

Our education - Valueless
 

Our follies -  Countless 

Our  arguments - Baseless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very Very less  
Our emails - useless (especially this one)!

Friday, August 27, 2010

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL....

Never  marry  a Testing girl since she always Doubts U  .

Never
 marry  a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never
 marry  a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never
 marry  a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never
 marry  a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
 
Never  marry  a .NET girl since she is not AFFORDABLE.
 
Never
 marry  a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never
 marry   a UNIX girl ,she always  dump  u with a core.

Never
 marry  a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never
 marry  a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never
 marry  a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY.........

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

How much days you are working


After 10 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- S! o, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager! :- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Awesome reading

Shaher ki is daud mein daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yehi jeena hai doston to phir marna kya hai
Pehli baarish mein train late hone ki fikr hai
Bhul gaye bheegte hue tehelna kya hai

Serials ke kirdaaron ka saara haal hai malum
Par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai
Ab ret pe nange paw tehelte kyun nahi
Ek sau aath hain channel phir dil behelte kyun nahi

Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hain,
lekin pados mein kaun rehta hai jaante tak nahi.
Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dost tak pahunche aise taar kahan hai

Kab doobte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai?
Kab jaana tha shaam ka woh bahana kya hai?
To doston shaher ki is daud mein daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yehi jeena hai to fir Marna kya hai?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi. 

Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi…….

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Some Useful LINKS...

 
Here are the online portals of Indian Govt for all range of information and service
Others:

* Send Letters Electronically <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ otherservice_ details.php? service=20>
* Search More - How do I <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ advancedsearch. php>

Recently Added Online Services

* Tamil Nadu: Online application of marriage certificate for persons having registered their marriages <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2691>

* Tamil Nadu: Online District wise soil Details of Tamil Nadu <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2693>

* Tamil Nadu: View Water shed Atlas of Tamil Nadu <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2694>

* Tamil Nadu: E-Pension District Treasury Tirunelveli <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2695>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by Name (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2697>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by EPIC number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2698>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by House number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2699>

* Himachal Pradesh: Revised Pay and Arrears Calculator-Fifth Pay <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2702>

* Meghalaya: Search Electoral Roll Online by Part number (2008) <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2700>

* Andhra Pradesh: Online Motor Driving School Information <http://www.india. gov.in/howdo/ onlineservice_ detail.php? service=2705>

Global Navigation

* Citizens <http://www.india. gov.in/citizen. php>
* Business (External website that opens in a new window) <http://business. gov.in/>
* Overseas <http://www.india. gov.in/overseas. php>
* Government <http://www.india. gov.in/govt. php>
* Know India <http://www.india. gov.in/knowindia .php>
* Sectors <http://www.india. gov.in/sector. php>
* Directories <http://www.india. gov.in/directori es.php>
* Documents <http://www.india. gov.in/documents .php>
* Forms <http://www.india. gov.in/forms/ forms.php>
* Acts <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ acts.php>
* Rules <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ rules.php>
* Schemes <http://www.india. gov.in/govt/ schemes.php>
* Tenders <http://www.india. gov.in/tenders. php>
* Home <http://www.india. gov.in/default. php>
* About the Portal <http://www.india. gov.in/aboutthep ortal.php>
* Site Map <http://www.india. gov.in/sitemap. php>
* Link to Us <http://www.india. gov.in/linktous. php>
* Suggest to a Friend <http://www.india. gov.in/suggest/ suggest.php>
* Help <http://www.india. gov.in/help. php>
* Terms of Use <http://www.india. gov.in/termscond tions.php>
* Feedback <http://www.india. gov.in/feedback. php>
* Contact Us <http://www.india. gov.in/contactus .php>
* Accessibility Statement <http://www.india. gov.in/accessibi litystatement. php>




Saturday, August 7, 2010

PRINCIPLES OF LIFE


6 (six)PRINCIPLES OF LIFE  

  • No point using limited life to chase   unlimited money.
  • No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it .  
  • Money is not yours until you   spend it.  
  • When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth ; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health .   Difference is that, it is too late .  
  • How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs .  
  • No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with  

Monday, July 26, 2010

Advice to Smokers

Once a Smoker was smoking at airport.........


A gentleman came & asked him. How much do you smoke a day?

Smoker : Why are you asking such question?
Gentleman replied : If you had collected that money instead of smoking,the
plane which is in front of you, would have been yours.


Smoker asked that gentleman : Do you smoke?
Gentleman:-No.

Smoker asked:-is that plane belongs to you?
Gentleman replied:- No.

Smoker:-Thanks for your kind advice,but that plane is mine

[Smoker's Name - Vijay Mallya]
Moral of the Story : Unnecessary advice is injurious to health

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

TATA Nano's Daughter or BAAP!!!!!!

Hi,

Are you waiting for Nano?
Just look at this car..Are it is NANO's Daughter or BAAP?

Electric Tango